Baby, It's Really, Really, Really Cold Outside

It's colder than cold. The only reason I'm not really whining as much as I'd like is the sun is high. It's actually a beautiful day. It's just COLD. And it's not getting any warmer any time soon.

So, I'd said I'd write more. While, granted I have written more than last year, I still haven't written much. I've been journaling a little more, but I'm not writing as much as I think I want to. I say "think I want to" because I'd be writing more if I really wanted to, wouldn't I? Would I just whine that I want to write and not write if I really wanted to write. Or wouldn't I just write?

Here's my example. I took a great trip in December. I took some notes. Had a blast. Intended to write a big year end letter. I haven't written a sentence. I haven't even thought about it. I'm just really not on the ball any more.

Why is that? Is it because I'm older than dirt now? Is it because I just don't care any more? Is it because I've been beaten down by life? While all those are true on different days, I think the real answer is that I'm lazy.

Yep. I am one lazy girl. I just can't seem to get moving for any reason. I like to lie about an do as little as possible. Unfortunately, I haven't found anyone to pay me for that skill just yet. Hmmm.

New Beginnings

I emailed an old friend yesterday because she'd been on my mind for a couple of days. While I didn't stop and take the time to call, I just couldn't stop thinking about her. Turns out that yesterday was her first day as a divorced woman. A new beginning to begin the new year.

I decided to begin a new year myself. This morning I wiped out all painful numbers from my past. For some reason, I'd held on to all these contacts in my phone that I no longer used or needed. I'd kept them there to remind me of what I'd lost, and nearly every time I saw one of them, I'd get angry or I'd feel hurt. I decided today to let that go. I decided that it's time for a new beginning.

Funny thing is that I feel lighter now. I'm not carrying that old baggage with me. I've let go of the reminder to feel pain. It's a great feeling to begin to move on. I guess a new year is the best time for that.

My other new beginning is getting into some sort of shape. I had a very unpleasant surprise when I stepped on the scales yesterday morning. I have to get serious about some weight loss. I've moved into the overweight category that I'd danced on the line of for so long. I'd noticed that my pants were a little tighter, but I'd managed to delude myself. Yesterday, however, I couldn't pretend any longer. So . . . . that meant walking this morning and exercising last night. It also means no more candy - at least for awhile and very limited alcohol. I can tell already that I am not going to like this very much, but if I get results, then I guess that's what matters.

Happy New Year

Give me a break . . . I'm only 4 days late with the greeting. How did a new year arrive? Didn't 2010 just begin? I can't believe that 2011 is here, but I'm so glad it is. I'm ready for something bright, shiny, and new.

For the past 2 - actually 3 - years, it's been struggle after struggle for me. I am really hopeful that the days of struggling are a bit behind me for awhile. I know better that to think I'm behind my dark nights of the soul, but I'd like a few bright nights for awhile. How about for a year or so? Please?