Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Between the Ides and St Pat's

It's the 16th of March? How did that happen? I've actually thought of posting several times, but this is the first time I have gotten around to doing anything. Truthfully, I'm back in a funk so it's not as if I have had anything worth saying to say.

For example, the other day M remarked that you only get a finite amount of springs. So true. I suppose that should make me feel more grateful for the time I have, but it's hard to feel grateful sometimes - especially when you have a hard time thinking of something to be grateful for. Yes, I am sure there's something, but today it's hard.

Here's a true story from my life: today I saw someone I have known for 16+ years who didn't recognize me. She works for someone who used to work for me. Wow, how quickly they forget. It made me a little sad. And that's what I'll focus on for the rest of the day. I'll either cry or want to cry all day. I won't be grateful for the nice new computer monitor, keyboard, and mouse that I got at work today. I won't be happy that my boss invited me to represent the organization at a fundraising dinner this weekend. I won't feel good about the many comments I received about how good I look today. Nope, I'm going to be all upset because some crazy woman didn't recognize me. (I'm not even going to look on the bright side of "maybe I just look that much better.") Nope, I'll wallow in this all day, I'm sure.

Why am I like that? Why can't I be happy with the few (and granted they are very few) good things that happen to me? I don't know. I wish I did - and I wish I knew how to be happy (or at least content) with what I have. I wish I knew how to be grateful. I wish I knew how to enjoy life.

Oh, well, as I think about the fact that I have only so many springs, maybe I'll enjoy this one a little more.

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