I've been engrossed in quite the pity party. I actually cried this weekend because I'll never make it to the last 5 states that I need to visit to hit all 50. Then I cried in yoga because I couldn't hold the tree pose. To make matters worse, the new girls in class could hold the pose. I felt as if my inability to hold tree was a reflection of each and every one of my personal failures. I decided while lying in savasana that I would just go home and spend the afternoon crying. Yes, that's how crazy I have been.
Upon leaving yoga, I needed to get some cash to repay a debt. Instead of going to the bank's drive through, I decided to go to the ATM in the grocery. There I ran into a former student who had just gotten a job there. She told me her sob story - how she is a recovering addict who is trying to remain clean and sober. She keeps being tested by ending up in situations where everyone around her is either drunk or high. In addition, she's lost her car. Truly, she's in a bad place, but she was happy because she had a new job.
It was then that I realize that I was just indulging myself. It was time to get moving and put the past behind me. Of course, I'll probably have more spells like this one, but it was a good reminder that there's always someone facing a trial more difficult. While many have easier lives, many also have more difficult ones. And I really have very little to complain about.
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